Speaking of fat...

Got some free time this morning. So what am I doing? That's right--sitting on my lazy butt watching some Korean television, cuddling with Christmas, playing video games, and blogging...all the while thinking that I SHOULD be exercising--or at the very LEAST going to the pinch-n-poke...which I haven't done in, like, two months thank-you-very-much because my students are demanding--not to mention my husband who seems to have this incredible my-wife-has-tme-to-herself radar and always manages to come up with some oh-so-important (to him) and time consuming thing for me to do that just blows ALL to heck my plans of whatever...oh, yeah--and the house cleaning and grocery shopping--which often requires me to travel an hour each way to another camp to get the goodies I want, so there's three hours minimum for THAT--and the cooking and the dropping-off-and-picking-up of the uniforms and the...SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!?

And yes, I know that just about qualifies as the longest sentence on the planet. Get over it. The craziness and utter, um, ridiculousness of said sentence just demonstrates the status of my being. M'kay?

SO...
don't scream at me (please),
and don't disown me, yet,
BUT
certain things did not make it in the mail until, um, recently.

Why?

Read the first paragraph.

PLUS...
menopause. It kind of sucks. Don't get me wrong--the whole not bleeding thing is pretty cool. I can buy pretty undies and not have them ruined. I can make plans (read: swimming, sex, sleeping sans a diaper) and not worry about having things turn...ugly. (okay, okay...so I don't exactly go swimming much. and? this only makes it that more important that should I actually decide to go that my plans don't turn to the red sea.)

But...as the above paragraph CLEARLY demonstrates by the way I just kind of wandered off into nothingness without a clear road map on how to return, or, indeed, the immediate recollection of where I even INTENDED on going with the story...

my memory is sooooo gone. Really. It's sad, actually, I often will stand up to walk into another room (which, in my little house, is all of SEVEN feet away), and will forget while STILL WALKING what my purpose was in moving. I will go onto post and then find myself standing and looking around thinking why am I here?

Yeah, yeah. Keep your recommendatins to yourself. I make notes. Lots of 'em. And lists up the hoo-ha. I even put things in nice, neat little piles and set them by the door so as to not forget them. It matters not. I walk right past them and only remember, oh, hours or days later that it was my intention to actually MOVE the pile of stuff.

Everyone asks me why I'm happy all the time, why I'm always smiling.

It's not happiness, people, it's total dementia!